a midsummer night's update.

i forgot i created this blog a few weeks ago. life's changed a little since i last wrote...not a whole lot, though. i am currently working at a cafe part-time. i don't love it, but i don't hate it either, and tips are always nice. customers are interesting. many rude. i often burn my hands on hot drinks. i've been told i have "dainty hands" on numerous occasions and almost every customers asks me if i go to Acton high school, and if so, what year am i.

going along with the dream theme, i absolutely need to record this bizarre dream i had the other night.

i was in Corning, NY for my aunt's wedding this past weekend, which meant i would be staying at my nana's house, sleeping on this little pad-like chair-into-a-bed deal on her basement floor (the basement is finished off). now, every time i have slept down there, i have the weirdest of weird dreams and everyone looks forward to hearing about them over breakfast the next morning. this visit's dream went as follows:

i was hanging out on the side of the road in Dunstable, by Larter Field (a nice place to run), and it was night time. I was with a random high school friend and was telling him that I really wanted some soy sauce. Like, I absolutely HAD to have the soy sauce or else....Now, in real life, there is a little gas station down the road from Larter, and so in my dream, I decided to run to the gas station to buy a bottle of soy sauce. As I ran, I noticed the moon was extremely bright, and I was suddenly barefoot and running through knee-deep puddles full of....things....like pieces of lettuce, or something, all of which were sticking to my feet. I finally reached the gas station only to see my sister's best friend being carried out by two boys because she was completely wasted. I ran into the store, only to find there was no soy sauce. Heading back through the puddles again, this little pull-over area by the gas station was suddenly an enormous field, and I began to run through it. As I ran, the ground was covered in deep snow, and it hurt my feet. I began to run faster, and when I looked behind me, there was this huge, black german-shepard-like dog coming after me. And I was so terrified and tried to scream.

And then I woke up with a jump, sitting up and freaking the hell out.

Someone please tell me what, in God's name, does this mean is wrong with my head?? WHO DREAMS ABOUT GETTING SOY SAUCE FROM A GAS STATION?

In other news, I apparently took clumsy pills this week and have proceeded to drop my iced latte that I was actually purchasing at a different cafe and not, for once, MAKING for someone else. I was so excited to finally be having my very own latte, and the second I set it on the coffee station, I elbowed it off by accident. Latte + foam + ice all over the place. Lovely. Later that day, I was paying my $1.00 toll at a toll booth and conveniently dropped my dollar in an effort to get it to the toll woman. I had to hop out of my car (but wait for my old school seatbelts to roll themselves forward...good God...) and of course, hit my door on the side of the booth...hard.
I also forgot my shoes for work. I drove all the way there. All. the. way. Only to look down in horror at my Birkenstock clad feet. I knew they would probably murder me if I tried to work in sandals...so I drove all the way home (my car goes up to a whopping 85 mph, which I thoroughly abused on the highway). I somehow made it to work by 12:30, which was the allotted time frame (I was called in on short-notice & LUCKILY told them I would be there sometime around 12 or 12:30...whew). Moral of the story: I will never forget my stupid, black, ugly work shoes that make my feet scream a little. Ever.

Thing I've enjoyed this week:

1. Blackberry sangria
2. Visiting Tahleen and Julia
3. Tip money
4. In Defense of Food. Read it. This is why I don't really ever eat processed food.
5. Considering writing poetry. Considering. This is such a progression. (hello, writer's block like never before).
6. Drawing in the backyard while listening to all new music.
7. The Counting Crows: Sullivan Street.
8. The way the track turns my running sneakers red on the bottom.
9. Cleaning gum wrappers, receipts, and spilled sangria on the dash (thanks, Spencer! haha) out of Little Red (my car...yes, laugh). I enjoy cleaning.
10. Tzaziki dip
11. weddings. beautiful dresses. grooms that cry during vows (aww). the thrill of sneaking wine to my underage sisters. dancing to thriller with my entire family. my dad's disco dancing.
12. grilling kabobs with steve. steve mimicking me. steve steve

i also am suddenly obsessed with a band called Company of Thieves. I can't stop listening to them. Oscar Wilde. great tune.

"we are all our own devil, we are all our own devil. & we make this world our hell."

it's nine o'clock on a saturday

it is quiet here.

i'm not sure whether i love it or hate it.

things i have:

people.
scenery.
good, good music.
good, good reads.
running.
myself.


things that are missing:

people.
a paycheck.
oh, & ithaca.

since i've been home, i've been having possibly the strangest dreams i've ever had. first, i dreamed i was the drummer of Tegan and Sara, except I didn't know how to play the drums and was thus terribly stressed out before a show. to ease my stress, they told me, "don't worry, anybody can play the drums, you'll figure it out once you get up there!" then, i was up there, except there was no drum set, & so i found myself banging on the stage with a set of drumsticks.
my next dream involved being at moonshadows, and it was realistic and not out of the ordinary.
i also dreamed about being chased by a t-rex (i am not even kidding) around the ithaca college campus, finding a white tent that i decided to dive headfirst into, only to be confronted with a layer of plastic that would not allow me to actually enter the tent. thus, i somehow clawed my way through the plastic and fell headfirst onto the grassy floor of the tent.

i apologize if this becomes a dream journal.

then i stopped dreaming & have since managed to find myself awake at 3 a.m. in an attempt to fall asleep like a normal person, i read my book (dreaming in cuban - i don't yet have an opinion on it). i wake up in the morning with my cell phone buried in my bed & the book on my face.

i've been running quite a lot, which means that if life keeps pluggin' along this way, i'll be doing a half marathon in the fall and a whole one in the spring. that's quite okay with me. when i moved back home, i found a scrapbook i'd made my senior year of high school for a class. in it, i'd made a list of my "life goals" and was pleased to find i'd accomplished many of them.
1. parasail...check.
2. study abroad...check.
3. write poetry...check. quite the check.
4. live in a city...check.
5. run a marathon...a doable possibility.

in other news, i've developed an intense obsession with This American Life. do yourself a favor and listen to it.


the other day, somebody asked me, "what is your dream job?"

i don't know what my dream job is, but i know it involved books, writing, teaching, and music.